Did You Steal my Cat?

Dammit, folks! We've got a new breed of thieves out there, and they're going after a car's precious metal guts... That's right, I'm talking about the rise of catalytic converter thefts!

Who in their right mind would steal a catalytic converter? That thing is like the appendix of a car - nobody really knows what it does, but we're pretty sure we need it in order to live. And yet, these crooks are going after them like they're made of gold.

It is true, these converters contain valuable metals like rhodium, palladium, and platinum. And as the value of these metals has skyrocketed, so has the interest of these thieves in stealing them.

What Do They DO, and How Do They Do It?

The catalytic converter contains a honeycomb-like structure made of ceramic or metal, and coated with precious metals like platinum, palladium, and rhodium. These metals act as catalysts that speed up the chemical reactions that occur inside the converter.

As the exhaust gases pass through the honeycomb structure, they come into contact with the precious metal catalysts. The catalysts then break down pollutants like carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, and hydrocarbons and turn them into less harmful substances like carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and water vapor.

Damn Thieves

These bastards don't give a damn about the environment or reducing emissions. They're after the quick cash that they can get from selling the stolen converters to scrap metal dealers and/or other shady buyers. They're getting pretty damn good at it too

But don't just take my word for it. The National Insurance Crime Bureau (NICB) reports catalytic converter thefts increasing by a whopping 500% in the last few years. That's right, you heard me - 500%!

They're targeting parked cars, and they're not afraid to get their hands dirty. These bastards will crawl under a car and hack away at the converter with a Sawzall or some other cutting implement. The car’s owner is usually none the wiser until they start their car and hear the unmistakable roar of a “modified” exhaust.

This is not petty crime. The cost of replacing a stolen converter can be a legitimate kick in the balls, especially for those of us driving older cars. And if the thief isn't careful while removing the converter, the process can cause engine damage as well.

You Won’t Believe Who Is To Blame

Do you know who is at fault here? Evidently, in the mind of the new breed of progressive politician, it’s the car manufacturers. I’m not even joking!

Harvard-educated Nithya Raman blamed Toyota for the surge in catalytic converter thefts in her California district. She’s opposing a motion targeting catalytic-converter thieves, making it unlawful for a person to possess a detached catalytic converter unless they can produce valid documentation or other proof verifying they are in lawful possession.

Nithya Raman recently grabbed a microphone in a public hearing and said, “In this case, I think one of the things that infuriates me is that we have a company — whatever, Toyota — who makes the Prius, that essentially has a device on their cars which is super easy to remove. It’s basically the value of a MacBook, right? That is put in a place that is incredibly easy to access in your car, and the thefts related to this issue have essentially — all of the costs of that — are given to us to bear instead of them [Toyota] having to manufacture a car that actually is not so easy to be stolen.”

This is a Harvard diploma, folks… or complete stupidity… “incredible easy to access”? It is under the car and usually requires a jack to even see it, especially on a Prius. “easy to be stolen”? It is literally WELDED to the car! What a colossal buffoon. I’d give her a Sawzall and 6 hours and I bet she’d come out from under a car empty-handed.

Be Careful,Cats

So we're dealing with a new breed of thieves here, folks. As car owners were left to keep a watchful eye or to install shields, plates, and cages to protect our valuable cats. Or we can take extreme measures - like this guy who was literally in his car when a thief started the removal process, so he ran over the sum’bitch! Hey… you get what you play for.

Me? No cat... No fear of theft unless some dumbass jacks up my car, crawls underneath it, and doesn’t realize that “bulge” is just a simple “resonator”. Nithya? What are you doing under there?

Maybe that’s our best solution, thieves and environment be damned... Strait pipe it and send it!

Why?

Because Race Car…